widowcentauri

Archive for the ‘BDSM’ Category

White Trash — Trailer Park — Super Party!

In BDSM, bullshit, Comedy, drama, perverts on July 21, 2013 at 11:01 am

Yep! That is what we are having here this week folks. The sort of week that really makes you value your elitist anti-social book fetish.

Where to begin?

A while back I mentioned how my neighbor was trying to build a fire pit — maybe you recall, it’s not that crucial as the landlord (obviously) told her HELL NO! Well this neighbor vandalized my cars this week, and didn’t even deny it. She blamed her kids — classy right. Both of the cars that I have parked in the tiny lot she has been digging holes in pained by pink glitter nail polish. Other cars painted, you ask — NOPE. Just my perfect candy apple red BMW and my Swedish brick. It ruined the beemer. Fucking ruined it.

And she screams and she yells at all hours of the day and night, to anyone who will put up with it. Her babby daddies, her mobile phone, the postal carrier, anyone. Then she leaves a note on my door in the middle of the night accusing me of locking her out. I assume that means she got high and locked her baby inside again. Not my fault. I have been avoiding her, using the other entryway. Oh I really don’t want to meet up with her, ever. But sadly, I’m just going out on a limb here with this one, but I’m kind of under the impression that I am going to have to take her to small claims court.

Oh joy! The place where people let their inner Jerry Springer guest out to play. A place where people utter “I want my ten dollars” while spitting into a podium mike. Mmmm. Can’t wait.

But it’s not just the neighbor that makes this party so special, no there is also the 97 degree heat with 90 percent humidity — all week. I spent my rent on a couple of air conditioners. I might just take them back, pay the rent and repeat the process the next time a heat wave comes to attack me. But we had to hit four Home Depots before we found any AC left in New England. So maybe I’ll just keep them.

I miss the desert air. I long for decent tortillas. At least in Southern California when someone is digging a whole in the parking lot, painting cars with glitter nail polish, locking their baby inside, and screaming like a tweeker everyone assumes the crazy bitch is methed-out of her mind.

And I can see the first of the month coming. I’m sure my landlord would rather have cash than AC units. So, I have been sitting here in the ice cold AC wondering how I’m gonna pay my rent. Well, really I had to stick up a plastic divider so that the part of my home that gets really hot would not just heat the place up, sucking all the life and joy out of the AC. Now every time I want to go to the kitchen I have to remove my cozy little beanie, my bathrobe, my slippers and run into the sweltering foul unwashed for days in the hot sun kitchen — then dart back out, hopefully remembering whatever I went in there for. And hopefully remembering to remove my winter gear before going past the plastic. And I have been too stressed out to eat, well too stressed out and too fucking broke. I went to work once this month, then the heat came. I got sick. I fell down the stairs. I had a migraine and Lorelei snuck out while I tried to sleep it off.

I have been trying to get my office clean enough to web cam in. Thinking I’ll try this whole domme on the internet thing cause it really reinforces my natural tendency to avoid people. But I can’t figure out how to decorate. I think that I lost my ability to decorate a room sometime after I painted my mom’s kitchen jet-black with a sponge the mid 1990s. I have the inclination to make textured palm trees with animal print velour and green paint. I’m not sure it is a good idea but once I do it, undoing it will be a joke. So, yeah, why not cut and past fake fur to my walls — I mean this is a white trash trailer park super party!

Oh and cause I’m special, I got to watch a guy eat a banana out of his poop hole this week. I wish I were joking folks. Sorry if you were chowing on a potassium stick. At this point you might be throughly confused. It went something like this:

Guy on niteflirt wants to cam. We plan a time to turn them on. I ask him to have some toys. He brings two of the huge hothouse cucumbers — you know the kind they wrap in fucking plastic. The big fuckers. He takes one out and slides the whole thing into his ass. Right up, all the way, no whining no nonsense: in, all the way in. He is able to do a little hands free sphincter action for me. I’m amused. Sure he is an old squish white guy, but that takes some serious ass control. Took the whole thing up there and pushed it in and out — hands free.

He sat down and tied his boy parts up with rubber bands — the kind you use for hair, not the rubber once that snap (I love it when they snap). Then he pulled out some supermarket variety pack of paint brushes. He opened the package and jammed one of them right down his urethra. Oh yes he did. He sat there fucking his pee hole with a paint brush for a good long wile. I had him turn it around and use the bristly side. Epic!

Then he asked me if I wanted him to shove a banana in his ass. I didn’t even know he had bananas. he got out a whole bunch of them. Peeled one and slid it in before I even noticed he had removed one from the bunch. It was so fast I would have thought he was trying to hide drugs up there. Then he peeled another and — up she went — his bunghole just ate the entire banana.

He got out an eggplant and sort of teased me with it. He tried to shove the eggplant into his ass. It would not go in easily. He put the eggplant aside. Then he pushed the bananas out onto what looked like a towel on a couch. It was this sad little pile of barely yellow mush. (Do you hear Gwen Stefani in your head right now too?)

“EAT IT” I told him. He leaned in and scarfed the warm, squishy fruit.

A minute passed. He said he didn’t feel good. Asked me if he could call me back —and away he went.

Wow. I love it when I get to witness some sort of spectacle of perversion that makes you wonder about simple things in life — like abstinence only education, like ‘virgins’ who have bareback anal sex, like men who eat fruit straight from their poop shoot.

I’m really and truly amused that he called me. In a fucked up way it really cheered me up. I spent half the morning laughing.

Just a Quick Update

In Adventure, advertisements, American Dominatrix, bathroom, BDSM, dominatrix, Easter, fetish, fun, Gaslamp, Golden Showers, Happy Hour, kink, LA, Los Angeles, New England, pissing, Public, San Diego, Tour, Touring, Widow Centauri on March 24, 2013 at 7:12 am

I’m in San Diego.

When I’m in New England I get a lot of people on my phone and in my inbox suggesting that they want to play when I am in SoCal. Well I am here bitches!

I have limited time to play in San Diego through the 3rd of April. I am ONLY OFFERING PUBLIC PLAY IN SAN DIEGO.

I’m making a trip to Palm Springs March 25-28th. I’ll update when I get there and let you know more. I should have some time to offer semi-public sessions.

I will be available in Los Angeles on April 1st and/or 2nd.

New England April 5th – 22nd

New Orleans April 23-25th

Las Vegas July 14th-19th

Be excited about public play. You know I am!

An update: Draft Sent, California Dates, New England Dates, Call Me On NF

In Adventure, American Dominatrix, bathroom, BDSM, Cadillac Lounge, deviance, dominatrix, Easter, Education, Golden Showers, Happy Hour, Los Angeles, Massachusetts, New England, paying for it, pissing, Public, San Diego, sexuality, strip club, Tour, traveling, Widow Centauri on March 2, 2013 at 9:33 pm

I have no idea how many more chances I am going to have to update this blog before I’m in motion. My time is tight, so here are the facts:

I got my draft sent into my committee! I am very fucking proud of myself. It took forever and a lot of ignoring other things. I’m trying to have a final copy in to publishing in a few weeks, so I am not going to have a lot of time to post updates here. Just so you know. I’m crazy busy finishing school, but I want to have some fun. Also, I need money. I need quite a bit of moolah to deal with the politics of finishing school. If you have never had to complete the process of finishing grad school you have no idea just how expensive it is. In addition to all the fees and stuff they tell you about, you have to maintain your life while you are forever doing research and writing. It gets really costly really fast.

I would like to see a little more perversion in my life in the coming days and weeks. Like I said time is very tight so don’t wait, contact me and make something happen, NOW.

I AM ON NITEFLIRT WHENEVER I AM ABLE TO BE. Call Me and we can plan something really sexy!

If you want to see me in person:

Saturday 2 March I will be dancing at the Cadillac Lounge in Providence RI.

Sunday 3 March I will be dancing at the Cadillac Lounge in Providence RI.

Monday 4 March – Sessions in New England – until I am in CALIFORNIA!

CALIFORNIA DATES ARE SET — I might be there a couple of days, I might be there as long as three weeks. Be patient and serious about playing with me when you contact me about California dates.

Here is the information I have on my expected travel plans:

On 13 March, I will fly to SAN DIEGO. I doubt I will know how long I am going to be there until I get there. I have a ticket out of socal on 3 April. I don’t expect I will stay there that long. I want to be in New England for Easter Weekend. But A Deadline is a deadline and I might get stuck in the land of palm trees and mangos. I’m sure I’ll find a way to cope.

I’m imagine that I will be in SoCal for at least a week. I will be in LA, one or two days. If I am in SoCal more than two weeks, I might make two trips to LA but don’t count on it.

I AM AVAILABLE FOR QUICK ROAD SIDE PISS STOPS WHILE I AM IN CALIFORNIA
And until I leave New England.

I’m really excited to be finishing school. Please come celebrate with me!

Call me on NiteFlirt — Now!

Also, I acquiesced — Follow Me On Twitter.

Twitter is likely the place I will update more often, so if you are hoping to meet up with me in SoCal, click the follow button.

Stood Up By A Little Boy. Maybe His Mother Will Comfort Him.

In BDSM, bullshit, dominatrix, drama, Widow Centauri on November 30, 2012 at 7:12 am

Why do people stand me up?

I have been in the smut business for so long. I like the connection that I get from people from real intimate interpersonal connection, but then people do stupid shit and stand me up. I have little patience for my time being wasted.

I am going back under my rock soon. Very soon.

Tonight I was expecting to have a very fantastic time with a little twink from boston. He said he likes smelly things and wanted to wash my laundry. I got way too excited. But then he didn’t show. And eventually he send a message about some sort of emergency at work, and then he said he was on his way, and then he just didn’t come.

An I put on make up and waited.

And I put on clothing and waited.

And still he didn’t come.

I am so over bitches who seem to not understand that this is rude and that they are not going to get anything more out of me.

I’m kind of sad, cause I wanted to like this one. I want to find cute ones who have skills I can use.

But being late and flakey and standing me up — this dude was clearly just fucking with my time. Why would he want to mess with my time like that? I have no idea. Maybe his girlfriend has something against me. Maybe I offended him at an event, maybe he is a pointless spineless cocksucker who has no sense of how to treat a lady right.

I’m blocking him and chocking it up for a good night with wine and chocolate. I’m not gonna deal with this shit again.

But he would have been the first person I met on fetlife for the reason of potentially making something good happen. And he has restored my distain for this website.

Also, I’m going back to my old policy of not seeing clients under 30.

You can thank this dude.

He seemed so nifty. I’m a sap, a sucker, and I’m gay. So why do I give two rats asses why some silly boy in a bow tie stands me up?

It still makes me sad. Time wasted, feeling hurt.

What a knucklehead, he had a chance to get into my world. That happens to very few people.

Burt Reynolds

In Adventure, American Dominatrix, BDSM, Widow Centauri on November 7, 2012 at 4:23 am

So I met this dude at a titty bar.  I gave him my fake ‘real’ stripper name.  I gave him my real phone number.  He called and we got together for a session.  I remember that he was very polite and submissive at the club, even though he was there with a bachelor party.  I agreed to meet him for a session because he really did seem sweet.  I had no idea what sort of session he wanted.  I assumed I would feel him out and take the lead.

 

I get to the hotel room and we order some food, he has a sip of his adult beverage and starts to shake up a little in his speech.  Like he has something he wants to tell me but cant spit it out.  So I say, “nervous?” and he blurts out “I Really Like Wrestling!” and I smile.  He sips his drink and elaborates “I like to have women squash my head with their thighs.  Would you do that?” “Absolutely, of course I will.  It will be great fun” I say and his mouth drops to the floor like a 1960s cartoon.  “New to this?” I inquire.  “This is my first session ever” he tells me.  I had no idea, I didn’t ask and he seemed to know the lingo, he spoke calmly on the phone, I had technically met him at the titty bar already and honestly found him charming.  It somehow slipped my standard set of queries.  He said he wanted to schedule a session, I though ‘great, that sweet subbie from the club’ It somehow seemed like he was in with the cool kids, so I was actually a little worried about it all of a sudden.

 

“You mean you have never met with a sex worker in any capacity?” “No, this is my first time.  Is that alright.  I don’t want to offend you.” “Yes, it will be fine” I said.  Then I ordered a bottle of wine from room service.  I hadn’t had wine in over a year.  I figured I could use a glass.  Newbies are either overwhelmed with glee and totally satisfied with the slightest bit of attention or they are greedy monsters who have never been touched and don’t really understand the rules of the game.  He was a greedy monster but he was polite about it, so I did my best to roll with it.

 

He said he had been watching lots of videos on the internet.  That he liked to be held down, squeezed with thighs, full nelson, and “can you do this thing where you try to knock me unconscious by squeezing my head and neck with your legs.  I just love a powerful woman.”  I explained to him that I didn’t want him to have a black out, that I was not prepared to deal with EMTs, the two of us had only just met.  I would use a lot of strength and see where it leads.

So I put on some pretty sexy stripper thing, booty shorts and a tank top, something wrestlerish, and I leap onto him, knock him on the bed and rip his pants off him.  He has a big ol’ boner.  For the next two hours I abuse the muscles in my legs squeezing him, tossing him around, holding him in unnatural positions.  At some point we take a break and let room service bring the wine in.  Perfect timing.  We have a glass of wine, a little snack, and then he sprawls out on this faux fur throw that the ‘classy’ hotel leaves in the room to add that certain disco charm to the place.  He lays out on this fur thing and starts stroking it calling it Burt Reynolds.  He says that it makes him feel like Burt Reynolds.  I’m busting out laughing at this point, wine coming through my nose because this cute round white guy has a man crush on The Bandit, he is laying there on this fur rug imagining himself as the macho star.  It is adorable.  Playful and weird.  I can’t help but be taken into this silly scene.  I put my wine down and jump on top of him.  I try to wrap my legs around his middle but he is too round.  He suggests that I might be short and I poke him in the belly.  We roll around laughing  with me squeezing him and trying on wrestling holds, drinking wine, and having the occasional run in with the Burt Reynolds rug for another hour or so till I’m too tired to go on.  Time for you to go” I tell him.  He packs up his things and I pat him on the ass as he heads home.

 

I took a bath and got some sleep.  I was flooded with endorphins from the high energy fun.  It was sexy, it was silly, it involved Burt Reynolds.  What more could I want?

Brown Showers

In Adventure, American Dominatrix, bathroom, BDSM, bullshit, dominatrix, drama, FAQ, paying for it, perverts, pissing on November 6, 2012 at 4:04 am

Brown showers. Many people ask me for them.  Do I like to give brown showers?  Depends on how much you want to pay me.  On a personal level, no I do not like giving shit parties.  I don’t like shit, I don’t want to have poop all over my things.  When you play with poop it gets everywhere, so no, I don’t like giving brown showers.

Will I?  Sure, for the right price.  Not a little more, not even double.  Pay my overnight price and get a room at the location of my choosing.   We can play this game but it will cost you.

 

I have only given two brown showers, ever.  The first one was an accident.  I was giving a golden shower and a turd slid out and landed on some dudes chest.  He was very happy.  Totally excited.  He looked like he just got a Chrismas present.  Then he had a crazy orgasm and couldn’t get the shit out of my bath tub.

 

The other time I agreed to play with a boy who I had met for a public golden shower.  He asked nicely ‘please please please please please please please poop on me’ so I told him my rate and he promised he would deliver it to me after the bank opened the next morning.  He met me at the McDonalds and gave me a wad of cash.  I told him when and where.  While the poop eater was getting all hot and bothered anticipating his snack I ate a big meal, I drank prune juice, I prepared to shit on command.  An hour before he was scheduled to arrive I had to take such a dump, but I held it in (which I don’t ever do, it’s bad for your body), I waited for him.  I sat there in pain breathing deeply trying to keep my waste inside long enough to excret it onto this pig.

 

When he arrived at my dungeon I tied him up really good and secure under my toilet box.  He said “all this bondage really isn’t necessary” but it was.  I didn’t want him flailing around with shit and getting it everywhere.  So yeah, bondage. I sat on the toilet box that he was tied under — the pressure was on, it was time to shit but I got poop shy.  It wasn’t coming out.  I chatted him up, I grunted, I pushed, I knew that my shit had been demanding its escape out of my body an hour ago; but because I held it in it recoiled into the dark recesses of my bowls.  The place where turds go to hide.   My preparations worked but after the stalling I didn’t know if I would be able to push it out.  It had gone away and was not coming back anytime soon.  It took me about 30 minutes before I could finally poop and it was not the same poop that tried to escape earlier, no it was a sad pathetic poop; it was kind of thin, really smelly, and a general nasty experience.  He laid under my icky drippy shit and jerked off.

 

It was kind of disturbing.  He had shit all over him.  He was covered in a nasty dripping filthy mess that stank so bad I thought I was driving through Fresno.  Oh Gawd!  How was I going to clean this mess up?  Asking him to do it would have exasberated the problem.  He was a mess.  He licked up the poop as best he could, I let him have his dirty little pig orgasm, and then I sent him on his way, still covered in my shit. I just kicked him out covered in my drippy smelly excrement.   Then my assistant and I did our best to clean up the poop.  It reeked like shit in my dungeon for several days.  For weeks we kept finding little flakes of fecal matter.  It was a fucking disaster.  I should have charged him for a cleaning service too.

 

So, no I’m not a fan of scat.  I will offer it as long as my conditions are met, you have references, and you pay in advance.  If you chicken out the fee is mine, it is not refundable.  If you show up we have a shit parade.

 

Either way I’m gonna have to prep my bowels to take a dump on command.  This is not easy for me.  I eat like a bird and I poop like one too.  You want shit?  Get out your wallet.

Day Two: Public Blowjob

In Adventure, BDSM, deviance, dominatrix, kink, New England, perverts, porn on November 3, 2012 at 1:45 am

I met a bitch who I have seen before.  We met in a quiet, cozy, charming New England tea house.  There were people sitting right behind us.  They were chatting, I was a little too loud.  I talked about pissing and dildos.  At one point they stopped talking because they had clearly overheard something that was more interesting that what they were talking about.  The man at the other table kept making eyes at me.

 

The bitch I was sitting with was very attentive.  I made him sit and watch as I ate a peanut butter and bacon sandwich.  It was amazing.  After I was done eating this strange and decadent beast I went to the bathroom, alone, and put on a strap on.  I just slid the dick on right under my jeans.  It was a big dick.  They were tight jeans.  I hoped that the nice polite white couple noticed that I had a huge bulge in my pants.  I was making just a little scene.

 

We walked to the water where I found a nice dark park bench to sit on.  The sun had just set and there were still people all over the place. Groups of people walking after work, people with their dogs.  We sat there looking at the water for a minute and when I was sure that the coast was mostly clear I put his hand on my dick.  I don’t think he knew I had a dick on.  He grabbed it like he had been anticipating this moment all day.  He stroked it and dropped to his knees.

 

“Get it out” I told him.  He had it out and without permission just dove right down onto it.  He slid it in his mouth like the hungry little slut he is.  I wanted to punish him for gobbling it up without permission but it felt so very very good.

 

Previously I have never really enjoyed strap on play all that much.  Its an overblown fantasy and it generally hurts my back more than pleases me in any way at all.  But here on the park beck looking at the water, oh this felt really nice.

 

“Keep sucking it,” I encouraged as I pushed down on his head.  “I love cock” he sputtered as he came up for air.  “Suck me till I come” I ordered him.  I kept fucking his face and enjoying the blatant public dick sucking.  It was by far the best blow job I have ever had.

 

I was watching the water and looking at him suck my dick and I was so turned on.  I was actually really excited.  I didn’t know that I would be this turned on.  I thrusted my pelvis toward his face, pushing on his head, I watched him gag and then it happened —  I had an orgasm from a blow job.

 

I knew that it was possible, lots of my butch friends swear by a good blow job, but I really didn’t expect to like this so much.  This slut is a kinky bitch.  It takes a very high level of exabitionism to get on your knees and moan and suck on a public park just after night fall.

 

I fucked the bitch’s face a little more, then said “bend over the bench and pull your panties aside.  The whore got right up on the bench and pulled the pretty black Gstring over, exposing her hole.  I grabbed a glove, a condom, some lube, and got my safety gear on.  “Please be gentle with me” moaned this cute little bitch, cheeks still spread.  I laughed, shot a little squirt of lube on the hole and rubbed my dick on it.

 

You want to be fucked in the park? I asked.  “Yes very very much.  I want to be fucked here on this bench, where I can see the picnic table and the path and yes please fuck me here in the park” came slut bitches response.  “Beg me” I instructed.  “Please please please” began the monologue of begging and writhing.

 

I slipped a finger in this greedy hole; “ungh,” came the moans.  I fucked the bitch with my hand for a while and then I slid the head of my dick into this virgin tight ass.  “Oh” she jumped.  I smiled and felt a wave of sexual excitement.  I was wildly turned on as I began to pump the slut hole in the park.  I was looking around, making sure no one was wandering too close.  I was watching and fucking and being a dirty greedy pervert.

 

“Get your girl dick out of your panties and stroke it” I instructed.  “Get to the part where you are just about to come and then stop” I told her.  “Yes Widow” came the response from the slut’s mouth.

 

I kept pumping.  I slapped her ass as she stopped stroking.  I thrust my dick into this greedy booty and the slut bitch banged her head on the bench letting out a loud gasp.  I came.   Just like that it happened again.  I had an orgasm while I was fucking this bitch.  “Come with me” I said, and the greedy slut pulled her pud one more time and shot jis all over her leg. I pulled my rubbers off and told the bitch to take them to the trash can.  “We don’t want to be litterbugs, this is a very nice park.”

 

 

 

Wanna See Me?

In Adventure, American Dominatrix, bathroom, BDSM, Cadillac Lounge, deviance, dominatrix, paying for it, pissing, politics, strip club, Widow Centauri on May 26, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Sorry I went away for a bit. I have been very ill. I have had every possible test run and the good news is that I’m not dying, I’m not contagious, and I’m totally insurable.

The bad news is that I have had a three year migraine headache. Three and a half really, but who is counting?

In that time I have been pretty much just trying not to die. I spent the first year thinking I would get better and pretending that I was fine. The second year I spent sleeping, hiding from the sun, and struggling to finish school, the third year I started seeing doctors and getting serious about my health.

I am livid about health care in the USA. I have been put on so many fucking pills and nothing made me better. The behavior I was presenting was pissing a lot of people off. I was almost never able to make it to anything I scheduled, I was being really bitchy, I was dark and moody and I was running off my friends — fast.

I decided I had to come out as sick. If you have been hurt or blown off by me I am sorry. I am not able to do the things that normal people do. I have been severely disabled by this.

Shortly after I shot the I’m sick video I started looking at other things I could do to improve my odds of getting better. I decided to make some changes. I thought I was eating healthy food, and I was but then I was having beer and cookies too. I thought I was getting enough exercise but I was fooling myself. I figured I would stop drinking, stop eating sugar, stop eating nuts, stop eating soy, workout more. Its been two weeks. I’m feeling a lot better. I’m not going to the beach in the daytime any time soon but I have not had a migraine headache in a week. This is huge. I’m not sure if it was the beer, the nuts, the soy, or just a fluke. Maybe it is because I decided that I wanted to feel better. Who knows. I’m not great, but I’m feeling well enough to update this blog and tell you where I have been hiding.

Cause you know I have been doing dirty things, right?

I have been working in the strip clubs, because I still have bills to pay and it is a gig that is flexible enough for the sexy vampire with migraines and attitude problems. As the video suggests I am extremely sensitive to sunlight. So I dance at night, try to hide from the sun …

If you want to see me I’m dancing as ‘Friday’ at the Cadillac Lounge in Providence RI. I’m usually there on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. I sometimes come in a night or two during the week, but it really depends on how I’m feeling. I’m heading to the lounge in a couple hours and I’ll be there Sunday and Monday night this week too, (memorial day).

The Cadillac Lounge is a very edgy place. I have a lot of fun there. If you want to see me, talk to me, donate money to me, play … this is the place to do it. I’m not doing very much out of the club right now.

I assure you that I am not contagious. If you want a migraine of your own I recommend graduate school.

Please do come in and say hello, I would love to see some fans.

I’m In Las Vegas through April 18th

In Adventure, American Dominatrix, bathroom, BDSM, deviance, dominatrix, Golden Showers, kink, pissing, Public, whores, Widow Centauri on April 16, 2011 at 9:06 pm

I’m in Vegas. I’m holed up in a hotel room on the strip. I’m working on my thesis. I need to finish this bitch but I spent a lot of money getting to vegas, for no apparent reason. Come distract me. I have toys and sexy clothing and I would love to head out for a sexy time in vegas with you. If you are here too, give me a call. I’m in the mood to play (well really I need the money — but we will both have a lot of fun).

Be my public toilet!

call me now

Widow Centauri
619.884.2376

Come Amuse Me ~~ (or the art of the run on sentence)

In Adventure, American Dominatrix, BDSM, discount domination, dominatrix, Easter, paying for it, Public, sexual politics, sexuality, Widow Centauri on April 16, 2011 at 9:00 pm

Greetings, my loyal readers. Sorry I have been absent for so very long. I was busy having fun. I’m going to bring you up to speed.

I have been traveling a lot. Last update here suggests that I was in New Orleans, which I was and will be again soon. I am currently in Las Vegas for the weekend. I will be in New England for Easter weekend, then I head to NOLA for Jazz Fest, April 29th through May 10th. I will be dancing at Barely Legal again.

I’m getting antsy to be over this stripping thing for a while. I like the slutty aspects of it but my feet hurt, I’m bored with hanging out in bars and when I tell people who I am they either don’t believe me or they think I don’t need the money.
I’m not hanging out in strip clubs for my health.

Yes, it is fun, well it can be fun at times. I’m getting my pole dancing on, I have been able to have several very sexy encounters in the VIP rooms, and the overall experience of dancing naked for money is rather titillating.

But I’m bored with the repetitiveness of this. I have a financial goal that I am rapidly approaching. When I make the money (to pay the bill) I am going to have a hard time talking myself into doing this.

I’ in a position where if I’m going to keep dancing I should really loose another 20 pounds and get some fake tits. I’m not really sure I want to do that. I could dig loosing a few more pounds, maybe ten, not twenty. I don’t want to be a skinny bitch. My big phat juicy ass makes me happy. And fake tits? WTF? I’m not into the construct of plastic surgery as a viable method to achieve beauty. I like my tits – I have orgasms through nipple torture. I most certainly do not want to let some Dr cut on me so my boobs can meet the current standard of beauty that requires young women to feel inadequate and inspired to go under the knife. When male identified people start feeling inadequate and getting cut up by surgeons in the name of looking sexy for the attention of female identified people, then I might be persuaded. The guys who come into the club are generally so out of shape, sometimes they lack a lap to dance in, they come in with this huge distended gut that gives them more of a belly slide to work with. I can’t grind on that thing. If you don’t have enough self-respect and self-control to make having a lap a priority how in the hell can I justify a dangerous surgical procedure so that you like the way my boobs bounce?

Right. I’m almost over this gig.

In the meantime I need to figure out a new way to get the sex I enjoy. I’m not into having sex for free, in loving relationships. I need to have the element of business transaction to get me where I need to go. Stripping allows for a little bit of exhibitionism, a little bit of money, a little bit of anonymous sexual interaction, and if I don’t dig the dude I’m dealing with there is another one just around the corner. So how can I come to terms with the idea that I am a very sexual person but I’m looking for a certain kind of sexual experience that borders on the fringe of the law?

Stripping was doing it for me, for a second there. But I’m getting bored. Maybe you will come in and amuse me. Let me haul you around the club on a leash, spank you in front of a group of your friends, let me take you to the champagne room and give me all your money.
Come visit me in one of the clubs I dance in and amuse me. Get me out of this funk.