I have a lot of people ask me to do my job for free. I had a few very nice conversations on niteflirt with some dude last week. He asked me if he could email me, so I told him how to find my contact info, then after communicating with me to ask for IT help he suggested that he would “try to stay in touch and send you random things” as though I need more random things in my life. He sent me a photo and asked me to send him one. If I were a nice normal girl this might be appropriate but there are thousands of photos of me on the interweb surely one of them is what you want to see, no?
I realize that not everyone understands that I work for a living. Yes I like to have pleasant conversations, yes I am quite good at keeping up my end of the conversation, but once you hang up the phone I get back to my regularly scheduled program. I have a bunch of writing that I am stalling on. I’m still healing from surgery. Sometimes I am woken up by niteflirt and I take the call if at all possible because I need money.
It is not cheap or easy to be me. If it were everyone would do it. I answer niteflirt because it is the main way I am currently paying my bills. Yes, I like niteflirt but is is still work. I do it because I need money. I am in the mood to play and I am just about well enough to go out and play, but I will expect to get paid to play with you. No money no honey. Why am I constantly bombarded with requests for honey without money? I am a sex worker and have been for a long time. I am working on transitioning to a different profession but its not an easy gig to escape from. I’m constantly comparing what I make in a ‘real’ job to what I could make doing sex work. Even when it is slow it is decent and when it is good it is really fucking good. I spent most of last year working to pay off a rather oppressive debt. And I paid it off. So thanks for all the advice about how to do my job folks — thanks for the nasty snide remarks and the dick pics. Thanks for thinking that we are friends after a few short chit-chats on a pay to talk website — this is how I know I am very good at talking for a living. And I appreciate the good conversationalists who call me, really I do, but it is how I pay my bills so yes — it is work.
Whenever people ask me to work for free I’m always a bit put off. If I have known you for a very long time, if you have been a loyal client, if you pay for everything all the time and never bitch about it — yeah sure maybe I’ll play with you for free once in a while and maybe I will become your friend; but if we don’t know one another very well and you start in with a song and dance routine about how you can’t pay me I feel inspired to remind you that I am a lesbian. Not a lipstick lesbian but a full blown leather dyke.
Like so many people in the world, I work because I need money. I could be hurt or offended by the constant barrage of hate mail calling me a slew of names that are neither creative nor accurate. I could lose sleep over the idea that I am ‘not a real dominatrix,’ but rather a pro. I could be scared of the permissible violence that permeates our cultural consciousness around issues of sex work. I could panic and freak out about so many things that are going on but I just go about my business and try not to worry about people who want to throw stones. I think I”m gonna go back to the strip clubs soon. I’m getting kind of lonely.
Archive for August, 2014|Monthly archive page
A little update — just cause I have not been posting here much.
You may or may may not know that I had surgery a couple months back. I wish I had spent the healing time wisely: resting, doing PT, and writing. Sadly, I spent most of my time eating pork products and watching films.
I had ten dollars to my name when I went to have surgery. I have less now. Sometimes I’m upset about not having any money. This is the first summer in years that I really don’t give a fuck. It’s always slow in the summer and I can’t beat myself up for a situation that might only be slightly better numbers wise and even worse with stress.
I have however spent a lot of time second guessing myself. Because I’m done with school, and believe in my talents I assume I should be doing something that is not just socially acceptable but is actually something that everyone around me deems worthwhile. Though I love writing and I love sex work I have been harassed every day for since I began my career as an artist and pervert. I have started to actually believe that though I enjoy my work I should be doing something that other people would do. It’s silly and childish to give a fuck what my family thinks at this point. But I do, and I have, and unless I do some serious rearranging of my head I’m gonna keep feeling like I wasted the better part of 200 thousand dollars and more than a decade of my life going to school and learning to write.
It’s important to come to terms with who I am and what I like to do. But it’s also important to realize my skills and ability and my limitations. My major limitations, I’m not 20 and I’m not longer interested in amusing men for hours on end for pocket change. I do like to play but putting in all the hours for the few good sessions I get every once in a while – ones where people actually show up, where I make money and have a crazy good time — it’s hard for me to continue to justify the bullshit that goes into working as a dominatrix and even as a stripper for a lot longer. But it is equally as hard to find a new way for me to get all of the kinky smutty sexy things I get from sex work.
I’m in New Orleans and in the mood to play and have some sexy fun but I’m not sure how long my good mood is gonna last. If you want to play the bet way to make that happen is to call me on niteflirt and talk to me for a bit. I have always been hesitant to play with anyone who does not have references and I still am. I used to have a rule that I would not play with anyone under 30, but lately I seem to feel like a dirty old cougar. Niteflirt is a cheap and easy way for anyone new to my shenanigans to get to know me, see if we have similar interests, and book an appointment. If you can’t spend the few bucks to call me and talk for a few minutes I have very little faith that you will show for your appointment.
Now that I can walk again I’m in the mood to play. I want to go out and do smutty things in public places. I want to piss on boys in public bathrooms, I want to have my feet worshipped down by the river while drinking wine, I want to take a bitch shopping on a leash.
I hope I find a useful boy to amuse me. Lately all the bitches who come into my world disappear just as randomly. That has been happening for as long as I have been a pervert though. Usually it takes a lot of work to find one person who deserves my attention.
Contact me if you think you are a worthy bitch.
I just opened a disconnect notice from the power company. I need $150 to pay my power bill, yesterday.
Someone spliced into my power and I noticed last week. The situation has kind of been dealt with — the box has been disconnected from the cord that was very close. But I found the end where it was getting plugged in, and I can see where the options are the other end of the Edison Snake.
I’m not sure what I should do about my power getting stolen. There is a buried power cord in the empty lot next door. Should I call the police, the landlord, the power company? Should I just follow it?
Wonder if it is the thief who broke into the house next door?
Looks like a little path is forming from that house on Claiborne.
So how do I deal with that?
I guess I should follow to power line and take them the disconnect notice. Maybe one of them has a trust fund. How much do they like having power?