Archive for December, 2012|Monthly archive page
Many of you may know Lorelei, know of her, read about here, or had a chance to meet her at one of the events she frequents. I have known Lorelei for quite a long time. I helped her come out and transition back when she was playing the game of denial that many transpeople play.
I’m very happy that I was able to help her transition. She has gone on to give so much to the trans community.
Lorelei volunteers to help youth groups, speaks at colleges, and works hard getting trans civil liberties passed. She was instrumental in helping get transgender rights in the state of Massachusetts this past year.
She is a leader in the trans community and has given a lot of herself to help other people in need.
Some of her friends have put a fundraising campaign together to help her get some laser hair removal.
Though she has been on hormones for years her face still needs to have some zapping of hair floccules. This single thing will make her reality infinitely better.
Lorelei is one of my dearest friends and so I am asking you to donate to her fund.
She writes about the experience here: http://transprov.wordpress.com/2012/12/11/help-me-get-my-beard-cleared-for-my-40th-birthday-at-the-end-of-the-world/
and this is where you give money: https://www.wepay.com/donations/friend-lorelei-feeling-fabulous-at-forty
Please Google her, enjoy her art, and give her a donation to have this treatment.
She is Miss Trans New England 2008, help her look even more beautiful.
Providence Public Sessions through the end of the year.
Niteflirt, often. CALL ME.
WESTERN MASS Change Of Plans — Tuesday December 11th. When I get there till I leave. few hours tops!
Lorelei Erisis, Miss Trans New England 2009, will be available to do sessions with me In Providence December 26th – 29th. Don’t Miss an opportunity to play with both of us at the same time. This is a rare treat.
SEE HOW MUCH FUN WR HAVE TOGETHER!
I will be in NYC on a random day in mid January. I wan to see a show, so I’ll be figuring the date for this soon. If you want to play in NYC, contact me asap. I won’t be there long — just a few hours, overnight maybe.
AFTER THE FIRST OF THE YEAR I WILL BE AVAILABLE ON FRIDAYS ONLY, unless I get some whim to go outside, but I will only be taking Friday appointments. You MUST schedule in Advance.
I went out at noon expecting to interrogate an old fat man in a staples and be done in an hour, home to my pot of tea. But during the game I said, “take me shopping,” and then I had him pushing me in an office chair that made me feel every bit Queen Carlota. Yeah. “This way, no that way you moron, where are the pens I want? You suck, this is all your fault” a real scene.
“Follow me” I said as I led him through a series of mundane errands and eventually to the Christmas Tree Shop where I dressed him in Christmas decorations for all the packed store to see. Some people loved it, laughed, pointed. Some people pretended not to notice. Some people were horrified that we should have the audacity to violate the misery of Christmas.
Of course I put a hat on his head, but I decorated him in ornaments and candy canes and at one point I pushed the inflatable snow man over, and once you do that it can not be undone, all the inflatable things began to topple like a plushy pervy set of dominos. “Run away” I told him as we made out way back towards the trees.
Every time we saw a nutcracker I snapped “Bow to your master” and he did, all the way on his knees. We started to gather a fan club.
Once we checked out I asked where the bathroom was and we headed straight there. I took him into a stall and told him to strip. I pissed in his mouth, a little squirt at a time. Then more them more. Someone came into the bathroom. I tried to be silent and not get caught. I kept pissing on him till I could hold no more and I drenched him. I shot it all over the bathroom. He was soaked.
“Put on this Santa suit and clean up this mess” I told him.
On our way out a cute little twink tried to get in on our party. I told him to follow us and he would get a Christmas present but by the time we were outside he was no longer following us.
But that didn’t matter because everyone was happy to see Santa.
We went to the pet shop and got Santa a choke chain and a leash. We then went back to he staples and picked up something we forgot. A tourist took our photo.
We headed down the street that shall not be mentioned by name and I slammed on the breaks. “I must have that.” “Oh my gawd not here, please mistress. I know a lot of people here. Please, anywhere else” “get out and stop being a whiny little bitch” I told him. No one is gonna see that you are behind the creepy Santa outfit. All they will see is creepy Santa. Pull your pants up and get out” we went into the store but sadly the thing in the window was not for sale. I spun around in a circle and in two seconds I said “I want that” pointing at a four foot high plug in illuminating Buddha.
The young ladies running this trendy boutique looked at us — me with my turtle neck sweater, pearl earrings, and a creepy dirty looking Santa on a leash, and went to get the Buddha. We stood there waiting, not looking around. Not making small talk, Just waiting for the delivery of the plug in deity.
When it arrived in a box I asked the skinny girl if it was heavy. “Oh yes” she assured me. I looked at here again, eyed her up and down and said “do you lift weights” “no” she informed me “and you got it all by yourself? “Yeah, but it is really heavy and awkward” “thanks for the warning” I told her.
I pulled my car up front and we had to take Buddha out of the box to get Buddha in the front seat. I had a blessed passenger.
We went to a spot where I had heard there were glory holes. We found them but sadly there was no one on the other side of the hole. So my bitch didn’t get to suck dick. “Strip and lay on the sticky floor” I told him. Then I pissed into his mouth while gay porn illuminated a cum covered screen in front of us.
When I was finally done drenching him I sent him home to his family.
Thanks for the Buddha, Santa.
I had an amazing time blogging every day. I wish I could do it all the time. It forced me to get out of my shell, to venture outside, to have some fun. I realized on my trip to socal that my stress level and my serious lack of fun are contributing to my health issues in ways I had not considered. I have decided to have more fun.
But I have to finish school now, so I’m going back under my rock for a little while.
So I have a couple of posts left in me, in the coming days, but I really need to wave a little goodbye to you dedicated blog-o-thon readers.
IN AN ATTEMPT TO HAVE FUN
I’m going to make myself available for sessions on Fridays for the next few months. If you want to help my stress level stay low, if you want to see me, have lunch, or a shower. Friday is the day.
Wondering about strip clubs? — Look for the updated services page — It’s complicated.
If you want to encourage me to run away from home for a Friday I’m open to visiting NYC.
Obviously, all Friday appointments need to be reserved with credit card deposit, in advance.
BEFORE I DISSAPEAR TO FRIDAYS ONLY
If you want to get together in the coming weeks I will be in Western Mass on / the 14th of December. I might be there the 13th too. If you book in advance I can be there then, but I’m just coming to get things out of my office in Northampton. Please schedule in advance if you want to play in western mass. This is the last time I expect to be out that way for a while.
I am still available for outcalls, public games, and other shenanigans in New England until the end of the year.
I will continue to be available on niteflirt, so if you want to distract me from my work you can call me. Don’t feel like you are interrupting me. I get paid for this. It’s cool to call. I like money and I want to talk dirty with you.
I need a slave.
Someone to run errands, bring me beer, clean my bathroom, and do some basic work on my flat. Hanging things, painting, etc. I’m looking for one decent bitch to be my SLAVE. I will require a commitment through May. I will push you.
If you have references, a nice body, and a flexible schedule you move to the top of the list.
I’m not gonna hold my breath but I thought I would mention it.
I got all worked up to meet John Waters. I’m used to Hollywood meet and greet events. If the general admission tx is $30 bucks and the meet and greet after party tix is $100 I naturally expect that there is a cocktail party after the fact. This seems like a basic thing to expect.
I was really pissed off and made a total Hollywood ass of myself the other night when I went to see John Waters.
First his show. Kind of brilliant. It was funny and he didn’t breathe. I found that the most interesting part. He just sputtered for 90 minutes. Nonstop. I don’t think he even took a sip of his water.
At the end he asked if people had questions. I asked him who did his casting and if he has seen Surrender Dorothy. He has not seen SD, but he should get a copy of it in the post.
Though his show was good. I would hesitate if offered the opportunity to go to another show. If someone else was buying, if it was in Hollywood, if I knew the after party was going to include more than WAITING IN LINE FOR AN AUTOGRAPH. Um, excuse me for being so bitchy but celebs give out autographs at shows for free, in the price of the ticket all the time.
I was informed that this stand in line and get a photo with John Waters, ask him to sign your book or whatever, this was the meet and greet. The QnA and stand in line. This is what I paid an extra $70 dollars for?
I was seriously unimpressed.
I felt like this was the John Waters Christmas Hustle. I’m alright with that but he couldn’t even have a real meet and greet? Like with a free glass of champagne and a mingle session?
Being from Hollywood, I understand that no one wants to chat with other Hollywood people. But being a bottom tier celebrity, I want to meet my fans. I want to have them tell me how great they think I am, I want to be asked to sign peoples ass’ and to read their screenplay. Well I don’t want the screenplay, I have a coffee table size stack of them back in LA. But yeah, it is polite to meet and greet. Especially if that is what people paid for.
Some of the people in the line with me informed me that this is a New England style meet and greet.
I waited and then took a bad photo with JW, behind a conference table. He could have at least had a big softy chair and a Santa hat. But no.
I was pretty disappointed in the event. BUT I was very pleased with my ability to trip and fall right in front of this cluster fuck of an autograph booth. I was coming back from the toilet and BAMB! I ate shit, fell smack, splat, cartoon style in front of him. Everyone noticed and people came to my rescue. It was an epic fall. I love a good fall.
So other than falling what other asshole things did I do there?
Well I got pretty wasted, I had forgotten to eat and there was a lot of whisky that just kept coming my way, and it wasn’t gonna drink itself. So I was shitty drunk. I didn’t heckle. But the girl next to me did more talking than I would like her to have done. So I shushed her a lot. I laughed too loud, and I clapped too much at jokes that only industry would get. Like the shit just want meant to be funny to anyone else. But I was over there in the third row snorting. Yeah.
And when I finally did get to the front of the line. After being a little too loud during the show and falling flat on my face moments earlier — that’s when my real moment to shine came through. I looked at him and tossed my headshot (in a manila envelope) at him and said “This is for you. This is all the meet and greet? Is this it? I’m way too fucking Hollywood for this. Come to the gay bar with me. Did I meet you there before the show? There was a JW look alike there getting all jacked up on red bull. Sure it wasn’t you. You should come, its two blocks over ant there are twinks on poles. You will like it. Be sure to read my porn.”
Then I smiled for the camera and split.
I was a tad livid. That was a lot of money for the sort of thing I’m used to enduring strictly for he hate of it.
Oh John Waters, if you read this, please cast me.
I think you are a wicked hustler. When I grow up I want to sell my autograph for $100 a pop.
I was drunk, I was in a jaded and bitter mood, but I was determined to make the most of this funny little town. So I went to the gay bar.
And there were boy strippers. Three of them. In their panties. In their muscles. In their chucks.
I got myself a drink and stack of singles.
Then I became a bad bad woman. I groped them, I man handled them, I slid my number in their panties. They were so fucking cute. One of them told me he was 22. I put my hand a little further into his pants than I should have.
I watched them flip upside down on the pole. I watched them, I drooled. I shoved dollars in their pants.
I wondered why I was the only one shoving money at them. They were so cute.
I’m sure the politics of working as a go go boy in a gay bar are different than being a stripper in a straight strip joint. I’m betting that they pay the go go boys to dance. That the boys have nothing more to offer. If they had offered me a room I would have taken it. They could have sold me over priced drinks, dirty jock straps. I would have bought it.
They were totally awesome. I’m going back again next week.
This dude thinks he is a special someone. He is a needy little subbie. He thinks he is a slave. He has been asking me to play with his for a while and I keep blowing him off. So the other morning he called just as I was ready to get to work. He asked nicely and I guess I must have gotten out of bed on the right side cause I was in a mood to play. I told him to meet me at a divy bar I have been wanting to try.
He got there a good 15 minutes before me but didn’t bother to call and tell me that they were closed. So I pulled up, in the light of day, to find the door locked and him sitting in his car confused.
“There,” I said “that family style restaurant” Meet me there in two minutes. We took separate cars to get across the street, LA style.
Once inside he seemed totally confused, discombobulated, like I might only want to meet in the doorway, then go someplace else. We sat down, I asked for something private, a bit further away from people. They sat us in the outer most booth that was still in the circle of people.
I sat so I could see what was happening in the joint and he could see me.
The waitress took our order. I had a beer and a salad. For him, I ordered the biggest possible diabetic coma inducing dessert on the menu.
When she brought the sugar first I started feeding it to him. Slowly at first. A bite her and bite there. Then my salad and beer came, so the lucky bitch got to take a break. I saw him eyeing the water and I moved it to my side of the table. “My Water” I told him.
I shoved another bite of sugar laced sugar into his mouth and then I put the decorative sugar top thing that only children eat, I put it right on his head. Like a hat.
People started noticing. The waitress came over and chuckled at our silly games. I ordered another beer. The manager started pacing back and forth looking at us. This dude was a mess. He has sugar coated dessert all over him. It was brown and looked like shit.
I threw the croutons from my salad at his mouth. I’m not sure he caught any of them. “Eat them off the table without using your hands” I ordered. He sucked them up despite his fat gut getting in the way of bending.
I kept jamming the chocolate thing down his hole. He was Turing red. He looked like he might drop dead from this thing.
My second beer came and I thanked the waitress for being so polite and welcoming of our silly games. She smiled, rolled her eyes as she took a peek at this bitch and told me to let her know if I needed anything.
I fed the rest of his shit like sugar to him. Then I mixed the last of the salad into the creamy mess that was left over. Chocolate dressed salad. “Eat without hands” I told him again. He gobbled it up like a dog. I laughed and poked him in the gut with my heel. “Is that your fat belly or your wanker?” I asked him. “My fat belly” he answered. “Maybe I’ll be in the mood to dig under your rolls of blubber next time” I told him.
When he was done licking the plate clean the waitress came with the check. I looked at it and told him to get out some money. He put down a $20. “More” I told him. He added a ten to the pot. “More” he put down two singles. “I need you to get two more like this” I said holding the $20 up so he could see it.
“I need an tam” he said and then he bolted from the table. He didn’t ask permission didn’t suggest anything just ran off. The waitress came over and I asked her if there was an atm here. She said there was not but that they could take debit cards.
He waddled back through the join that was full of little old ladies and pulled out his debit card. I held onto the $32 dollars and watched as he left a debit tip of five bucks.
I said nothing about it.
“Use the napkin to clean off the table” I said, “you have made a big mess and I want to be welcome here again. You can’t expect that lovely waitress to clean up after your filthy habits.” He wiped the table clean.
We stood up and I walked to where the waitressed were gathered near the coffee pot, staring at this wanker covered in a mess. “Follow me” I said to him. We walked to our lovely waitress and I handed her the $32 bucks. “Thanks for everything” I said to her. And then we went out to the lot where he got in his skimobile and I got in a Beemer.
“Will you see me again mistress” he asked. “Yeah, I think I might”
I love causing a scene.