Archive for May, 2009|Monthly archive page

Am I Unemployable?

In Adventure, American Dominatrix, bitchy, bullshit, censorship, deviance, dominatrix, drama, FAQ, gender, Gender bending, GLBT, GLBTQ, neurosis, politics, sexual politics, sexuality, shoes, slave, Widow Centauri on May 23, 2009 at 10:36 am

It’s the middle of the night and I’m on some pointless quest to get a summer job.  I’m not the sort who works for other people.  I need something mindless so I can put my energy into my writing but still manage to make rent.  Now I know what your saying – “Widow you’re a famous dominatrix.  Just beat up some boys.” But I don’t know if I can do it any more.  I’m having a crisis.  I am looking at my future and thinking that I should clean up my reality but if I don’t have enough money to cope with grad school I’m not gonna be able to handle to very long haul towards a PhD.
So a job? Maybe.  I’ll go look.  Hmmm, I started wondering what I could do.  Can I work in a busy office? A non profit? A magazine? I’m really not sure.  One ad caught my eye so I looked a little closer to discover the completely unreasonable expectations on the part of the employer.  It read like this:
If you love working with the public, have a great attitude and want to work in a fun atmosphere then apply today!
This is NOT a job I could hold.  Oh sure I could probably hold it together to get the gig but after a few minutes my true cynical, misanthropic self would bubble to the surface ready to rant the evils of capitalism, the doom and decline of the educational system, and the unrealistic and dehumanizing reality of the gender binary.  Oh dear, am I unemployable?
I certainly can no longer make idol chit chat.  I wan to talk about the economy, about the military industrial complex, about Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky.  Oh dear, am I unemployable?
Maybe I should take a close look at nonprofits.  But even they want you to be cheery.  Why is this a requirement?  I am not cheery.  I’m an anarchist.  I am looking to pick a fight, stir up trouble, take down The Man.  This job requirement will never be met.  I can please no potential employer with said disposition.  Maybe I will have to impress them with my fancy degrees, large vocabulary, and collection of sex books.
I should give up and write.

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Anal Sex But Were Afraid to Ask — Saturday May 16th — 6:00 PM — Downtown San Diego

In Adventure, BDSM, Comedy, dating, deviance, dominatrix, dungeon, FAQ, fun, Gay, GLBT, GLBTQ, kink, Parties, performance, perverts, politics, porn, Pride, Sex, sexual politics, sexuality, whores, Widow Centauri on May 14, 2009 at 1:02 pm

Are you one of the millions of people who have tried anal sex only to find it to be awkward, messy, and downright painful? Anal sex does not need to be painful, in fact it should feel good.  Come to this workshop to learn how to have mind blowing orgasms via your rectal passage.
The most common anal sex education method is also the least effective way to have and enjoy anal sex.  In this workshop WC will reveal why so many people have frustrating experiences with anal sex and how you can avoid being one of them. Learn about prostrate massage, g-spot stimulation (yes you can reach it through the back door), and warm up techniques that will make you crave a good fudge packin’.
We will discuss details from common misconceptions to the downright erotic thrill of anal orgasms.  Watch as slut bottom chris takes toy after toy in an educational seminar that is illegal in several states.  If all goes well you might even get to watch Widow demonstrate her double fisting technique.  Woo Hoo!
Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Anal Sex But Were Afraid to Ask.  Saturday May 16th  —  6:00 PM at Dungeon Servitus in Downtown San Diego.  RSVP at http://www.dungeonservitus.com/ before it sells out.

A Party Follows!

Widow Centauri's Ass

DomCon 2009

In Adventure, American Dominatrix, bathroom, BDSM, bitch, bullshit, Comedy, culture, deviance, dominatrix, drama, dungeon, fights, friendship, fun, Golden Showers, Kindness, kink, LA, neurosis, one-woman show, Parties, performance, perverts, politics, porn, Public, sexual politics, sexuality, Widow Centauri on May 14, 2009 at 12:10 pm

I got to Domcon on Friday afternoon.  I ended up at the party having a great time.  I was in a silly mood. I dressed at Little Miss Muffet, I found a face tuffet, had a seat, and chatted with Irene Boss for a good while the tuffet boy struggled to breathe.  ☺
The conversation with Irene was the highlight of my time at the con.  She gave me the greatest pep talk telling me how proud, impressed, and envious everyone is of me.  I sat there on that boys face feeling great about the life choices I have made.  Graduate school is hard.  My final papers total in at something near a hundred pages.  I’m constantly reading. I gave up sleeping.  The amount of typing I do keeps me from eating much.  I’m enjoying the intensity of graduate school but sometimes it gets a little overwhelming.  Kudos to Irene for giving me the nicest pep talk I have had in ages.

with irene

After the little chat we danced.  Yep, the two of us danced at a dungeon party!  So did a few other people.  It was really fun but it’s hard to dance to standard dungeon music.  It does not have much of a beat.  I got a tad bored and found I really had to pee.  I grabbed the boy I had been sitting on and the boy who was hauling my things and headed to the toilet room.
I hauled them in the grungy dungeon bathroom and ordered them to strip.  I shoved them both in the tiny shower stall and took my shoes off.  I climbed up onto their shoulders, pulled my panties aside and pissed all over them.  I splashed it in their mouths, in their eyes, and made sure that my piss got their hair wet.  So much more amusing than using a toilet.  I think it may go down as the most acrobatic golden shower I have ever given.  It was pretty comical to see me balanced up their on their shoulders pissing away.  Good times!
After the piss I went back to the hotel, slept for an hour and went to yoga.  Saturday proved to be more of a clusterfuck than I could cope with.  The dominatrix who inspired my trip to Domcon turned into a raging loony.  There is not a nice way to describe the drama so I will just cut to the part where I’m being thrown out on my ass.  Ugly ugly drama.  I don’t have time for that.  I have a hundred pages due this week.
Anyway, after I was tossed out into the hallway on the 12th floor I thought I would just go home but as the last train had already left for the night I ended up looking for a quite place to do some writing while I avoided the party at Passive Arts.   I could barely keep my eyes open.  I was sitting in the lower lobby near the registration area trying to write a paper on democratic technology and I realized that I was not gonna make it till 5:30 when I could legitimately head to Union Station.  I spied the conference tables with their long skirts.  I wandered over and took a look under them.  The first one had tile under it, the second one had carpet and nothing else.  I shoved my shit under it and climbed under the table, pretty sure that no one had seen me.  I laid there on the floor under the registration table at Domcon wondering how I managed to get there.  I’m a hot dom with a suitcase full of rubber, costumes, and stocking.  Why was I crouched under a conference table hoping to catch some zzzz?
Was the drama too much to take? Did I really need sleep so badly that I was wiling to do it under a conference table? Yep, I did.  Honestly the under side of a skirted table isn’t that bad.  It reminded me of being a kid.  I always loved hanging out in places like that when I was nine.
I laid there for a while when I realized that I had a pretty serious migraine coming on.  It seemed like it was at the beginning stages and I might be able to stop it or at least prevent it from developing into the sort that has me hunched over the toilet vomiting my guts up all night.  I needed food and Tylenol.  I grabbed my wallet and peeked my under the curtain.  I didn’t see anyone so I crawled out, stood up, went to the all night bistro and got a sandwich.  Sitting in the bistro eating a lousy over priced vegetable sandwich with a big bottle of water and crunchy Tylenol treats I was glad to be alone.  I could have felt sorry for myself but I was just glad to be away from the drama, the doms, the whole catty scene.  I drank some peppermint tea and headed back to my lower level apartment under the registration table.
I was able to get a little bit of sleep.  At some point I realized that the people standing over the table were talking about the girl sleeping under the table.  They seemed to think it might be the only quiet place.  They disappeared pretty quickly and I suffered through the night.  Finally it was 5:30 and I proceeded to pack up the random things under the table.  A quick trip to the bathroom to brush my teeth in a public sink and off I went to catch a train.
On the train I saw an old friend of mine.  We found a secret little train compartment and she pinched and sucked my nipples till I came.  Then I was back in the fascist strip mall.
Domcon 2009 was not quite what I expected.  I left the experience feeling totally psyched to be in school.  Now two of my three papers are done and I had a chance (at 4:30 in the morning) to update you with some details of my wacky life.  Enjoy the pics and be sure to come see my workshops and performances this summer.

$exy, $lutty $ummer

In Uncategorized on May 1, 2009 at 2:15 pm

OMG – school is almost out for the year!  Just final projects to turn in.  Breathe deeply dear reader — my dirty blog will be back soon!

May 23rd  through August 24th am available for sessions, photo shoots, live performances, public golden showers, etc.  I am not going to be picky.  I will take almost any legitimate work with reputable people.
Graduate school is an exercise in masochistic behavior. The last year of my life has consisted of a celibate, hungry, over worked, perpetual all nighter.  My entire disposition has changed.  I dress in suits and wear glasses now.  I do not utter the same things in casual conversation.  I may need to be gagged, bound, and spanked!
My Marxist ravings got me thrown out of the home of my fanciest Hollywood friend – a finance guy at a big studio.  Will I ever learn?

I am having the damest time trying to fit into this world.  I have never once tried to fit in before. I have never wanted to.  I want this academic life.  I love the excessive reading, the illuminating conversation, the passion in my work.  I’m not so fond of the life of poverty though.  I need to work.  I need to play.

For the last few weeks I was thinking about taking classes this summer.  I thought I could get one out of the way and then zip right through the fall semester already ahead of the game.  Ha ha ha.  It has become very obvious that I truly need a break.  Often I find myself drifting off into some fantasy of dirty sex, cameras, rubber clothing and trips to exotic places for kinky adventure.  This graduate student life is now way to live.  Did I think I could wear my favorite DeMask to the university?
Just the same, I am jonesing for a good time.  Think you can provide it? Wanna schedule a session or a photo shoot with me?  Do it this summer.  I will likely be working summers as I push through graduate school but I can’t make that promise accept on a summer by summer basis.  If you want to see me, shoot me, play with me, interview me, book my one-person show, or take me shopping in London this is the summer to make it happen.
I just lost  25 pounds.  I have been doing a tremendous amount of Bikram yoga and I look fantastic.  I’m in the mood to shoot so lets shoot.  I’m game to do most fetish scenes, strange comedy, and radical political art.  If you are not sure I will be interested in your project please just ask.

Socal, New England and San Francisco

I am spending most of my summer in southern California.  In San Diego I am able to schedule sessions at Dungeon Servitus.  I do not currently have a private dungeon in LA though there are many available to chose from.  I do love to do public golden showers in LA.
I may be making one trip across the country in early June.   I will schedule road side piss stops very sparingly on this trip.  I will be traveling to New England in early – mid June.  I will be primarily in western mass / upstate NY and cape cod.
I will be in San Francisco August 5th – 17th.  I have availability towards the beginning and end of my trip.

I am available to travel to you. Please ask for details.

That said I’m gonna try to enjoy myself this summer.  I really need a break.  Come enjoy it with me.